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Enlightenment for No one
Awareness is, everything else is Maya. No one knows this but awareness. Awareness has no perspective. It accepts all appearances without exception, without judgment. This is love.
Awareness is not an object. Not graspable by a supposed person. Is all that is. Is now, without beginning, without end. Never born, never dies. There is no enlightened person. Understanding knows this. So it is. This is it.
The Search
This appearance sought itself for 40 years. There was no self to be found. How does an appearance find itself? It can't. Finally, this appearance was asked to look for itself. There was persistence in the demand. The assumption seemed unassailable, but the appearance did look, and found that it was nowhere.
Asking an apparent self to look for itself, feels absurd. Like asking if water is wet. However absurd, however unbelievable looking was done. No self was found. The assumption of I is, but cannot be found. So it is.
Awareness is all there is, and everywhere has no location.
The end game is looking and finding no one there.
Maury Lee
The End of You
You can't do anything with enlightenment. Enlightenment is the end of you. You know you are not, despite the fact that the body persists. You know you are not, despite the fact that the mind persists.
The body-mind no longer takes ownership. It belongs to Source alone, Awareness only.
Others will insist that you are still there, but the enlightened one knows they are mistaken. You will not argue, for peace only reigns. True seekers will come to you and ask, and only upon invitation will you speak.
The world is allowed to remain in ignorance. Only when asked will you share your disappearance. "Many are called, but few are chosen."
You have no followers, But those who seek will come. You know the seekers come not of their own accord. Their minds have been put in the tiger's mouth. There is no escape. They scream for help. Only then will you speak.
You want no believers, only those who discover for themselves. And when they have discovered they will leave. You may go out with them for tea and crumpets to say goodbye, but there is nowhere to go.
maury lee 4/11/08
There is No Answer
There is an answer, but it is not a concept. The answer is, but it can only be pointed to. There is no ground for a person to hold on to. However, if one truly sees that one is not a person, not a thing, not any thing, then one is standing on holy ground -- the Only Ground -- that which Is. That which Is, everything. You no longer know about that, you are That!
When you are that which Is, and only That, truly you are in a pathless land, a choiceless land, a land where free will and bondage have lost their meaning. You can only be spontaneous, for there is nothing to tell you what to do. You only do that which comes naturally. What you will do has already been decided. You, as a person, have nothing to do with that.
Did you choose to be a seeker? Did you choose to be a finder? No, you were chosen, and you were brought to finding. That's why it is called grace. It's why when one becomes that which is, there can only always be humility. How can you claim any thing as your own? You can only claim everything. And when you are everything, then you are love.
When you are the love that is everything, where is the need for a code of conduct? Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." The people listening took it as a code of conduct, but he was simply speaking from the nondual perspective. He was saying, "You are your neighbor, how could you not love yourself?"
maury lee 4/14/08
Who Am I To Judge
I find myself in a body here. But where did I come from? Did I make myself? Did I create the air this body needs? Do I know how I digest my food? Can I prevent my heart from breaking? Where is my control? My design? We all know that we are here, but do we really know why, or how we got here?
About the only thing I can claim as my own are my thoughts, right? But can I even control them? Or am I just witness to the passing stream of them. Where was the choosing? And when I get caught up in them, don't they run me?
Did we choose to fall in love? Or does love happen to us? Do we manufacture love? Choose it? Or are we chosen? Do we chose to become seekers? Or does seeking just happen?
We are the result of some grand design, and we are really not in a position to judge. We did not create our bodies, did not choose our sex, our parents, our day of birth. There is a grandeur to us when we humbly accept our true position.
It takes great pride, a great leap of incredulity to proclaim, "I am the captain of my ship. I am the master of my fate." Such a position is a fantasy, a mirage. Perhaps it takes time to become aware of our true position. Perhaps this is why wisdom only comes with age. It takes time to see that we are not in control.
It takes courage to accept one's true position. It is only with great honesty, and the courage to really look, that we actually admit, that in fact, we are not in charge. To take on this humility is the first step towards enlightenment.
But what a giant step this is. With this step we actually begin to look beyond our desires, our dreams, our hopes, and look at what actually is. In looking at what actually is, we have to give up the chip we've been carrying, the pedestal we have been standing on. Our ego's claims don't hold water any more. Our presumptions lie shattered. We're free!
Yes, freedom is in the truth, the ACTUALITY! There is great freedom in not being the master, the man, the one in charge. There is great freedom in not being the one responsible, in not being the guilty one. The freedom of innocence. And that innocence is the release from suffering.
And knowing this, I cannot claim enlightenment. I cannot be enlightened. I would have to claim personhood, claim my personality, claim responsibility and guilt. No, this is impersonal. The impersonal Self reigns, not I. Freedom trumps again. Hallelujah!
Who Am I To Judge
I find myself in a body here. But where did I come from? Did I make myself? Did I create the air this body needs? Do I know how I digest my food? Can I prevent my heart from breaking? Where is my control? My design? We all know that we are here, but do we really know why, or how we got here?
About the only thing I can claim as my own are my thoughts, right? But can I even control them? Or am I just witness to the passing stream of them. Where was the choosing? And when I get caught up in them, don't they run me?
Did we choose to fall in love? Or does love happen to us? Do we manufacture love? Choose it? Or are we chosen? Do we chose to become seekers? Or does seeking just happen?
We are the result of some grand design, and we are really not in a position to judge. We did not create our bodies, did not choose our sex, our parents, our day of birth. There is a grandeur to us when we humbly accept our true position.
It takes great pride, a great leap of incredulity to proclaim, "I am the captain of my ship. I am the master of my fate." Such a position is a fantasy, a mirage. Perhaps it takes time to become aware of our true position. Perhaps this is why wisdom only comes with age. It takes time to see that we are not in control.
It takes courage to accept one's true position. It is only with great honesty, and the courage to really look, that we actually admit, that in fact, we are not in charge. To take on this humility is the first step towards enlightenment.
But what a giant step this is. With this step we actually begin to look beyond our desires, our dreams, our hopes, and look at what actually is. In looking at what actually is, we have to give up the chip we've been carrying, the pedestal we have been standing on. Our ego's claims don't hold water any more. Our presumptions lie shattered. We're free!
Yes, freedom is in the truth, the ACTUALITY! There is great freedom in not being the master, the man, the one in charge. There is great freedom in not being the one responsible, in not being the guilty one. The freedom of innocence. And that innocence is the release from suffering.
And knowing this, I cannot claim enlightenment. I cannot be enlightened. I would have to claim personhood, claim my personality, claim responsibility and guilt. No, this is impersonal. The impersonal Self reigns, not I. Freedom trumps again. Hallelujah!
maury lee 5/11/2008
It's O.K.
It's strange not to have to think anymore, not have to figure anything out. It's quiet in here -- nothing to know -- nothing to hang my hat on - no need to have a hat.
Where is this coming from, nothing and nowhere. Who is writing this? No one. Why? Because I'm not responsible. Couldn't be responsible. When you know the truth that you are not in charge, who's gonna worry?
There is silence. It's not a forced silence. Thinking can come, but mostly it is gone. There is thinking, but it's not mine. It likes to think on abstract subjects, but mostly, it's given up. There is no one it will benefit, certainly not me.
So, there is the house to care for. There are still the problems of the character who appears in this body, who still is not perfect. But no one cares. The imperfection is irrelevant. God is, and God knows what's going on. He's in charge. I watch the river flow.
The body enjoys living, and will continue to do so. It has its pains, its aches, but also its joys. The apparent personality still causes problems for itself. But they are at some distance. Not felt as directly as before.
Mostly there is peace. When the mind gets caught up in a thought, off I go. But at least there is a pause. The pause comes when awakeness returns. Then there is a letting go of the pursuit -- a letting go of what seemed important. Then there is stepping back and going, "Ah, don't really need to worry.
With this silence one gives up on problems. But there is more. One also gives up on dreams, on hopes, on saving the world. The world is as it is. Its design is greater than me. Only an ego would get pulled into saving the world. As Jesus said, "The poor will always be with us." Or, "Let the dead bury the dead."
There is no where to go. No one to turn to. Only this. Only now. Only forevermore. And it's O.K.
maury lee 5/11/2008
I is, or I am?
What feels better to say, "I is," or "I am?" As the mind pondered this today, the answer seemed intellectually strange. But it did not feel strange.
When you begin the great Advaita inquiry, "Who am I?" it is a phrase that naturally feels right. Many have heard this instruction, and they've thought about it intellectually, but few have really looked. I mean REALLY looked!
It seems to dead end when no path is found. Inquirers give up when they get into the vague territory of this well known, but really challenging, simple question. J. Krishnamurti said, "Truth is a pathless land." How right he was! Looking for who, or what I am, is one of the most profound investigations an apparent person can do.
Needless to say actually pursuing this to the end seems to be the territory of very rare birds. The natural proclivity to believe long held assumptions is like a veil that protects this inquiry from going too deep. This is also why it is usually necessary to have a teacher, "One who knows," take a look with you.
For the rare bird that has looked into the bottom of the "I am" well, and not come back, "I am," looses some of its punch. Once one becomes acquainted with Awareness directly, as Awareness, "I am" no longer sits quite right.
What begins to feel right, without searching, without asking, is "Isness." Awareness Is. I is. I am NOT this or that! I is.
Isness has a sense of immediacy, of presence, of moment to moment. It is beyond nowness, as now implies a past and a future. Awareness is, such as it is.
maury lee 4/14/2008
The Paradox of Awareness
Awareness has no preference. It is the screen on which all is projected. You are Awareness, and your body is an appearance in Awareness. On what authority can the body/mind reject its appearance? If you are Awareness, and the mind is an appearance in Awareness, then who are you too reject it?
Awareness is absolute freedom. Absolute freedom rejects nothing. Without judgment, anything is allowed to appear in it. The body/mind you take yourself to be is a manifestation of creation, appearing in Awareness, as it is.
So, the admonition to "be what you are," comes from the understanding that you are Awareness, and what it is that you are appearing as, is O.K. Be what you are because you, as a focal point in Awareness, have no control over the appearance.
If you have no control over who you are, why not let go and really be it? You have nothing to loose because you are already free of the appearance, can't control the appearance, and what's gonna happen will happen.
The fact that we do our best to make things easy, or better, is already the way things are. So, do that. Make things better. Just remember you have nothing to do with that desire. Act as responsible as you like, or not. There will be consequences. But good or bad, you're not really the one in charge.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose." You are nothing already. So you need not fret. You are already free. Know that you are free, then act "as if" you are responsible.
Any appearance in Awareness is a focal point, and that point is conscious as "I am." But the focal point as consciousness tends to take ownership of the consciousness, not realizing its Source. That's where all the trouble begins. Refuse ownership, refuse free will, and drop the baggage.
The trip will continue without you. It will be amazing! Effortless doing, ease of mind. You will do ten times more with less effort and little or no thought. This is the result of thinking being used only for doing, not in service of the ego.
It is indeed paradoxical that realizing you have no personal freedom grants you the greatest freedom. But that's the way it is, and you have no control over that.
Maury Lee 6/2/3008
Guru Siddhis
Siddhis: This is a term for spiritual powers of various sorts, from psychic ability to being able to levitate, to be present at various places at once, to become as small as an atom, to materialize objects, to have access to memories from past lives, and more.
Miraculous events may occur around certain apparent enlightened ones or apparent gurus. Keep in mind that these occurrences are not personal and not caused by the so-called enlightened one. These are impersonal events not directly caused by the apparent being.
Who would want to follow a so-called wise person who depended on slight-of-hand and parlor tricks to attract followers? This is more the sign of a low level charlatan than a guru.
The true wise man would probably prefer not to have crowds of followers. He may have to deal with groups of seekers because he wishes to help, but he certainly wouldn't be performing circus tricks as a means to attract followers or show his power.
True power does not need parlor tricks to attract a crowd. In fact, the true wise men would eschew such theatrics. If a miraculous event does occur, the truly wise man would certainly disclaim any personal cause. The true guru knows that it is not his power, a personal power, that would cause such an occurrence.
It's a sad scene when a true seeker gets caught up with a circus performer of siddhis. Years can be wasted. If your are attracted to someone because they can produce ash, make trinkets appear, or produce perfume, you might be due for a good look inside yourself. What is your motive in this? An honest evaluation might allow you to see that you are looking for power, not truth.
If you are attracted to displays of siddhis, card tricks, etc, you are watching a sideshow. You are actually delaying finding the truth. Goethe's Faust was the story of man who sold his soul to the devil for power. Don't sell your soul to a man who entertains you with slight-of hand, and the manifestation of trinkets. Fools gold!
Truth is not an object. It doesn't need magic displays to make itself known. It is far more subtle than that, and far closer to you than your guru.
The true teacher doesn't need you. Jack Kornfield said that the amazing thing about Nisargadatta was that "He wanted nothing from me." The real teacher does not need to self promote. He will be known by what he has become. His teaching is enough.
maury lee 5/12/2008
Meaningfulness
At a certain point on the spiritual path, it is far more interesting and entertaining to see what has lost its meaning, than what has become more meaningful. Surely it is a sign of just how much play the ego has had.
When the ego falls, the house of cards falls. The cards drift away on a breeze of laughter and wonder. The ego's tentacles are vast long tendrils, that when cut off from the source, leave the former person in free fall. But it's the kind of free fall where you spread your arms, and enjoy the ride.
Egos are busy trying to find meaning. Could it be that the basic unreliability is somehow known? Do we frantically look for meaning because at some level we know there isn't any?
We are afraid to look directly at the source of the insecurity. We always look away. Anywhere but here. The mirror is a deadly place isn't it? So we look anywhere and everywhere else. If we are lucky, or if we meet the right teacher, we stop and look.
We see that the supposed special person has built a house on sand. The foundation is a mirage of specialness. A smoke filled room of manipulation and avoidance. So when we really look in the mirror, we see that the "special me" is pile of crap.
The "special me" is a run from the truth, head in the sand, fake. It can be a shock when we first get a glimpse of the pile of crap we've been calling "me." The first glimpse may cause us to try all the harder to prove our worthiness. But this is just a bigger step on the brown brick road of ego.
When we trip again, and are face down on the brown brick, we just might take our time and take a good look at what tripped us up. We see the road we've been on, and see where it's going, and finally, with maybe a bit of humility, we step off the road.
This can be scary at first. This is unchartered territory. "Ah, but the air is fresh." We brave this new territory even if we have no insight into the weather. Stumbling around on real earth at least gives us a chance to see that there is no path.
Now we are the jungle hunter. We develop our own internal machete to hack a the undergrowth. It's our own labyrinth we are cutting through. Our personal jungle is always unique, always pathless.
However, having been told that "Truth is a pathless land, "by such as J. Krishnamurti, at least we know to keep hacking. With a commitment to truth, we hack our own way through our own jungle. Eventually, we find we too had no path. All that was needed was to clear the land.
Now we see there was nowhere to go. It's all one great land. We're already there. We just took the detour called "Ego."
maury lee 5/12/2008
I think, therefore I am
I think, therefore I am is the simplest and truest statement of the false, or ego self. That thought begets all other self thoughts. Your whole identity is wrapped up in subsequent thoughts.
The "I" thought has taken over. Therefore you you believe, "I think therefore I am." This is a false identity. You are prior to the "I" thought.
I am, therefore I think, is truer. At least it points to the "I am" that is prior to thought. Beingnes is multitude. And that's OK. But the truth is prior to the multitude that believes it is.
All bodies have a sense of beingness, of I amness. But, did any body create this sense? Did you create your own beingness as an individual? Or, did beingness arrive, unbidden, to take you for a drive? Take a look. Are you the driver? Or are you driven.
When the beingness arrived, it took a couple years for the mind to develop. At around two or three, the conceptual mind found it's first foothold as "I." The rest is a house of cards. The whole you that you think you are is based on this first "I" thought.
You have to go back to the original "I" thought and back track from there. The "I" thought is the result of Being in a body. You are the Beingness that created the body.
You can only think your way out of this by coming to the end of thought. Or, one might say, when thinking is no longer satisfactory, and sees its own limitation, perhaps there will just be seeing/knowing, without a thinker, without a you.
Maury Lee 7/11/2008
Viewing Furniture
Have you ever considered the point of view of furniture? It's rather amazing that so few have done so? It can be quite educational. Take a moment while sitting in your living room and observe your furniture. Each piece has a different purpose, each is labeled accordingly: table, chair, couch, footstool.
The labels and definitions are based on concepts, and the human purpose invested in the design. However, the objects themselves have no such identity or purpose. A wooden chair, for example, consists of wood, shaped in a particular way. But, does the chair know its purpose? Does a chair know its meaning?
Does a couch know that it is for sitting or laying on? Does a table know it is a surface for holding other objects, or for eating from? The whole meaning of these objects is a projection of the human mind.
A chair was conceived by the human mind, created by the human mind, and human hands. It's chairness is a human factor. To the chair, is there purpose? Does the chair know it is for sitting on? For the chair, is there such a thing as a chair?
To a very large extent our concepts of ourselves are just as meaningless as a chairness to a chair. We are programmed with ideas and concepts about ourselves that come from conditions that no longer exist. We are living our lives based on traditions that are no longer valid, and may in fact be harmful.
There may be some validity in looking at oneself as a peace of furniture. Realize that you might be rather presumptuous in your ideas about yourself. You may, in fact, have totally defined yourself by what you were told to believe. You may be living your life entirely based on projections you received from your parents, your brothers and sisters, and your culture. None of these are you.
As created beings we may not be in a position to know what our meaning is, our purpose. Having taken up our roles as prescribed by the play, we act them out with sound and fury, and yet unconsciously. Perhaps if we looked at ourselves as furniture in a room, we might discern a self nature that is something other than what we have projected on ourselves.
There is something deeper in us. An essence, undefinable, ineffable, yet knowing. We don't become aware of this essence, playing our prescribed roles. We become awareness by stepping aside, by letting go, by questioning our ideas and presumptions. Step back and observe oneself without ideas, and see what arises.
Maury Lee 7/9/2008
There is a seeming I
There is a seeming I here. There are interests, avoidances, but mostly peace, contentment - not bliss, not joy, just this.
The nondual is. The fact that there still an apparent person here is not a problem. This appearance is operating, much as it always did, except the search is finished.
There is no need here to get rid of the person. No sense that the person should go away, become non existent. Why, because the truth is known that appearances are, but I am not that. I am all appearances. The personality is like an old shoe. it's here, it's comfortable. Who says I need to get rid of it?
Who is going to make the effort to get rid of this appearance? What is the need of getting rid of this appearance? Since the appearance is part of the play, why not enjoy the show?
There is an ease in allowing the appearance to be as it is. There is awareness that catches what is rises as resistance, irritation, judgement. When awareness senses these, it brings them into focus. The simple recognition releases the resistance as not needed. All is well.
There does not need to be any purpose to this. Who is here to judge, to determine what that purpose is? Just observing, holding back judgement is enough. Just see how much one can accept and love. That is enough.
Maury Lee 7/8/2008
Alphabet Soup
Pour a cup of Alphabet Soup and you can play with the letters, making many different words. The letters make words for animals, and things, and yet they remain soup. The liquid and the letters are one soup. We are like that soup, appearing as separate pieces, but still soup.
That which looks out from this body/mind sees only itself. That which sees from every other body/mind sees only itself. Different points of view only. We are like raindrops from the same storm, each with our story to tell of how we fell. Only to find that we are all washed back into the sea.
Oh, the stories we tell! Oh, the experiences we have! We should all wink when we tell them. Somehow, in our hearts, we know that all our stories are about the One. The One we are. Why else would we listen?
Listen to your own story lightly. Take a step back as you tell it. Be sure to laugh.
Maury Lee 7/8/2008
Let The Big Cat Jump
If you were born a seeker, you might as well go to the zoo and stick your head in the tiger's mouth, or take up race car driving, because you won't be getting out alive.
The seeker will die a seeker unless he finds, and to find is to loose all that you think you are. "Lose your life for my sake, and you shall have eternal life," was how Jesus put it.
How many years does it take the average seeker to figure out that he has to leave himself behind? How long before he packs his bags, throws them in the back of a truck, and dumps them off a cliff?
As Wei Wu Wei put it, "Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 per cent of everything you think, and of everything you do, is for yourself - and there isn't one."
Seeking is not just an Advaita disease, it's every seeker's ball and chain. Anyone reading this post can say "Been there. Done that."
An interviewer once asked an old lady living in the hollers of West Virginia what she had to say about living, having arrived at the age of ninety. She thought a minute, and said, "If you're born to hang, you ain't gonna drown, so let the big cat jump."
Now, I really like that quote. If this doesn't sum up realization, I don't know what does! Let me explain my take on this. This lady has observed a lot of life, and she knows damn well that people aren't as free as they think they are.
If one is destined by nature to live in such a way as to be hanged, for what you did, or what you didn't do, there's probably not much you can do about it. If that's your destiny, you certainly don't have to worry about drowning. Ain't gonna happen.
So, iff you're walking in the woods, and you see a big mountain lion about to jump, you can just calmly walk by because you ain't gonna die that way either. "Let the big cat jump."
But, there is another freedom hidden in this understanding. It is the understanding that you are not what you think you are! You are not a person, wrapped in a skin, stuck in a mind. In fact, you are freedom far beyond these apparent limitations.
You are beyond bondage or freedom. Beyond needing help of any kind. You are not a technical writer, a yoga teacher, a spiritual guru, you are awareness itself. You are an explosion of yourself! Expressing yourself in every possible way. A multitudinous manifestation of form.
So, did this seeker waste any time seeking? Not possible! Who did he think he was? Who was living this life? The little person I thought I was? No, beingness was just being what was happening. Happening happened to be seeking. So what.
From here there is nothing but freedom. Seeking didn't waste any of my time. There wasn't a me. Just a pile of thought. It's what happened to no one. So now there is seeing. Ah peace. Shall we go watch the parade?
maury lee 4/17/2008
Conceptual Skin
I is the conceptual covering of the body. It's like a skin. But a conceptual skin. Just as the physical skin covers and protects the body, just so the ego is a conceptual skin that protects the body as well as the mental concept of "I."
The I skin develops at around age two or three when the mind begins conceptual thought and separates the body from everything else that surrounds it. The first "I" thought is "I am." This is the primary thought upon which the ego creates itself.
With the ego and it's function of self preservation comes psychological suffering. With the concept of the "I am the body," comes fear. With fear comes the division of the world into good and bad, right and wrong, love and hate.
Because the conceptual skin is created at such a young age, the conceptual I becomes an assumption that is so primary, so taken for granted, that it is almost impossible to see. It is not that it is so subtle that makes it difficult to see, but that it is such a primary assumption.
If you ever studied Geometry and proving therums, you can get a taste of the conceptual skin. Like logic, you can build an entire house of cards on a false assumption. The logic post the initial error can be flawless, perfect in its rationalizations. But, unless one questions the initial assumption, the house of cards seems well built.
This is why Ramana Marharshi, Nisargadatta, and others, continually referred back to the basic question of "Who am I." They knew full well that they could spend years arguing with seekers if the basic assumption was not examined. It's like arguing theology. If theology contained the truth, how could there be five thousand paths, and no abatement of suffering.
The basic conceptual "I" that is the base assumption, makes all questions after this unconscious assumption, a theological maze in which the seeker will never find relief. The guru, the realizer, the knower of Self, is the one who always points back to the original error, the conceptual I -- the conceptual skin that prevents true knowing.
For this reason, without great erudition, the Knower can respond to any and all questions. This wisdom seems all powerful, all knowing, but this wisdom is simple, it doesn't have to fight with all the post assumption bullshit. It recognizes instantly that the question is based on the false "I" assumption.
This body/mind is aware that it exists. It has its preferences, likes and dislikes. But, it does not suffer like it used to. Physical pain is accepted. Mental suffering always asks the question, "Who is suffering?" With this question, the conceptual skin is seen, and there is relaxation.
The body exists. Yes, the delivery has been received. But, the conceptual "I" is a result of the body, a mental construct that is not permanent, not substantial. It can be seen as an ephemeral, changing, ghostlike, person. The personality is here, but this delivery is a shimmering hologram, and the hologram can be seen through.
While the personality, the consciousness of a particular individual can have a level of consciousness, the true Self, the Source, is prior to consciousness, has no levels, and cannot be described. You are that. Who you think you are is an eminence, an emergence, like a flower. Enjoy the blooming, but you are the Source of the bloom, not the bloom itself.
Maury Lee 5/31/2008
Awareness has no identity
Does the watcher have a name? When there is awareness of the watcher, considering what is going on in the body/mind, does the watcher have a need for identity? Does one ever consider, who, or better yet, what the watcher is?
After realization, there is a continued unraveling of the ego self. It is not personal, it has no personal agenda. It is just like water flowing from a damn when the drain is opened - a natural process. Something watches the unraveling. When there is awareness of the watcher, who is watching the watcher?
The reports of the body/mind continuing to do what it has always done, eating, sleeping, working, goes on, but it goes on in without the previous drive, goals, anxiety. It's like watching a robot perform.
Certainly life is simpler as the competitive drive has left. Strangely though, with the egos strategies, hurts, and specialness gone, things are seen more clearly, and work gets done more efficiently. There are fewer needs and what is essential is naturally seen.
Whatever is seen or arrives in awareness is not what one is. Who is seeing the unraveling? Who notices the ego dropping? Who is aware of the changing, the loss of desire, the loss of meaning? When all the who's and what's are seen, who sees them?
In the end all that can said is that Awareness is. It is constant, unchanging, available, and finally knows that it alone is sovereign. It has no identity. It is not separate from you or me. You are that.
Maury Lee 6/22/2008
Understanding
Understanding is all. But this is not an intellectual understanding. The intellect doesn't go deep enough. The understanding has to be experienced at gut level. It's a primal experience.
If you've every had an experience of ecstasy, a mystical unitive experience, you know the authority with which it comes. That's the kind of understanding that is spoken of here. It's beyond the intellect, prior to intellect, not in it.
But understanding isn't ecstatic, day in and day out. It's just understanding. Bernadette Roberts reports how when one has profound ecstatic experiences, the resulting changes become one's normal day to day experience. They loose their feeling of uniqueness, of differentness. In fact, a change, such as peace, may become so normal that only other people notice it.
Understanding is profound and does affect one's life, but the change is incorporated and is not felt as something special.
It does no good to try and not be the doer. It does no good to try and stop thinking. These are results, not a prescription. When there is understanding, then thinking quiets down. It results from understanding, not trying to stop thinking. It does no good to try and stop being the doer of actions. The very trying itself, is the doer.
However, there is a place for trying, for striving, because as long as there is a seeker, there will be effort. Effort will be there as long as there is a perceived, sensed, separate "I." For just as long as you feel choice, free will, and know yourself as a separate person, you will not escape effort. Until that "I' drops, or slides into the background as a phantom, effort remains.
What is being pointed to, is that many of the spiritual methods are teaching results, which are effects, which are not the path.
Since the seeker can't stop trying, the seeker at least deserves to know what might have the possibility of being the most productive towards understanding.
Understanding is more likely to come from Awareness, which is prior to consciousness. Consciousness consists of the objects, thoughts, perceptions, one is aware of. So anything one thinks, judges, conceives of, appears in Awareness. So, try and step behind consciousness of this and that, to the field in which they appear, Awareness.
Contemplation is a great and natural process that can be harnessed. Hawkins states that any valid spiritual truth can be used as a tool. For example, a single sharp knife can cut a watermelon, shape a Buddha, cut your bread and spread your butter.
Your effort will be rewarded by your intent and your earnestness. This one was never a meditator. This one was a contemplative. The advantage of contemplation is that it can be done all day, while at work or at play. It doesn't require a quiet place, a certain posture, a particular practice.
We all contemplate, but we do it unconsciously. We contemplate the neighbor's wife, the boss's poor hygiene, or how well we're doing in our political positioning within our company. Just change what you contemplate! As James Allen said, "Think on These Things," spiritual truths. Pick one and stay conscious of it.
You can't think about two things at once, so if you choose to contemplate on the higher things, rather than lower things, you won't have to fight the lower, they just won't have room.
If you can't understand how all is One, contemplate that. If you can't understand that "The observer is the observed," contemplate that. If you can't "Love your neighbor as yourself," contemplate that.
Stay aware of every position you take. Stay aware of every feeling of judgment you have. Stay aware of every time you feel defensive. Ask yourself, "Who am I defending?"
This is simple, and with earnestness of intent, will produce results. Then you can ponder, "Where did my thinking go," Where did my stress go?" Then you will be in understanding.
Maury Lee 6/6/2008
Levels of Consciousness
The heart experience creates oneness via identity. As we be the change we want to see in the world, the world changes accordingly. Every thought, every feeling is recorded forever and affects all forever. That's quite enough power.
The nondual is and the apparent world is. They are not separate. Water has levels, the earth has levels of elevations, there are levels of heat, cold, roughness, radiation, and there are levels of consciousness. That is not to say that the levels are personal, since the field is one.
Soft light, bright light, absence of light, levels of brightness, and there are levels of consciousness. Depending on how you define or measure, levels can be determined.
Higher self, lower self, One Self. Who is who? One field, separate appearances. One Self, many selves. One up, one down. Ready, set go. Where?
All there is, is Love. One love, one heart. Let's get together and feel all right. Are lefties okay?
Bob Marley had a lot of love. Big heart. Are there levels of heart? Who's more loving?
Where's the beef? It's all in the pudding. There are levels in golf, tennis, pool, poker and horse racing. Who's the fastest? And there are levels of consciousness.
Does awareness enjoy different points of view? Does it know about the levels? Would "dumb as a rock" be a low level of consciousness? Would, "sharp as a tack" be a higher level of consciousness?
There are levels of neurosis, of ego, of self esteem. So are levels of consciousness not a possibility as well?
"Don't cast pearls before swine," said Jesus, meaning, at a level of consciousness that is not receptive. And, "let those with ears to hear, hear, .... for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven." A higher level perhaps?
Where does the personal end and Impersonal begin? The real mystery is how we can entertain these thoughts when all is One. There are levels of consciousness.
The oxymoron of the "obvious" is that what is obvious to some is not even seen by the rest. Who's in charge here? The Mystery? Oh, yeah. Thumbs up.
Where are these words coming from? Are these mine? Or do they belong to the Mystery. Can we say what level of consciousness these words come from? Would they make sense to anyone? Or just the few.
Who's reading these words? Are you reading with your heart or with your brain. Can you feel which?
Is the Karmic playing field level? Is a mountainous region on higher ground? Are some places more sacred than others? Who says? Who cares?
The world is round. If you start at any place and walk straight, you will meet yourself on the other side. Is there a here and a there on this little planet? Or are we all only always here. And always now.
A cork in the ocean floats to the level of the wave. Just so, consciousness attracts that which is at its own level. Intentions are realized. Karma is nourished. All is well. You are you. And you are that. All is wonderful. All is as it is, and as it should be.
Gloria in Excelsis Deo!
Maury Lee 7/29/2008
Caesar's Coin
A coin has two sides. We call the sides different names. In the U.S. we call them "heads or tails". Looking at one side or the other is a very distinct view, but the coin is still one. That one coin, when tossed, makes the difference between being the first or second to throw the ball. It is still one coin.
When Jesus was asked about paying taxes and one's duty to God, he gave a profound and practical reply, "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and render unto God what is God's." A metaphor for "Be in the world, but not of it."
Is there being in the world "as it is," but not being caught in it? Is spirituality separate from the world? Are there really separate sides of a coin? Are we in school? Is there free will? Is there really no "you" and "me?"
Honestly, I really don't know. I can't seem to draw the line in my own mind and explain it to myself. I would like to be able to, but currently cannot. What I do feel/know/experience, is that ultimately we are all one. The world I am in, and you are in, is one field, one energy, manifesting in multiple emanations, endlessly creative.
Ultimately, humans, like everything else, are emanations, created beings, and this would imply no free will. I long ago gave up the idea that I or anyone else had free will. There is a lot of freedom in this. It is great for putting the ego in its place, or dropping it altogether.
The experience of "no self" which can be progressive, or sudden, is rather devastating to being in the world, but is great at making sure one is not "of it."
As one who knows that ultimately, "I am that, and you are that," there still appears a me, and a you. And now we are back to the metaphor of the coin. Two sides, one coin. I really like this metaphor as it makes simple, a complex area of spiritual inquiry, the conundrum: duality/non duality.
Currently there is a raging debate about this. Both sides are on the same playing field, but disagree on how to play. Perhaps we need to remember that we are playing a game. As Shakespeare once said, "All the world's a stage, and we are but players upon it." Or as Faulkner wrote, "Sound and furry signifying nothing.
When teacher's teach, whether they claim personhood or not, whether they claim to be enlightened or not, they do have individual styles. We need to be careful and not argue teaching styles over essence. Doesn't it really come down to reflecting on what resonates? I really like this term because it is reflects congruence, while remaining open.
My whole spiritual search has been based on resonance. At first, it was primarily what I liked intellectually, but as I progressed (that nasty, bad term, to some) I found that I was reading with my heart. I literally felt the resonance in my heart.
Having been a seeker for many years, I've had many opportunities to see who I resonated with, and who I did not. Teachers resonate that appear to be stressing or pointing in very different ways. I can only conclude that the pointing is different, not that which is being pointed to.
One side claims that no person exists, or ever existed - all is illusion. Therefore, there is no enlightened person, no such thing as enlightenment, and never has been. The other side agrees that ultimately, this is so, but acknowledges that though ultimately true, the body/mind needs to be acknowledged and dealt with.
I resonate with teachers who claim no person exists, and with teachers who claim to be enlightened. Is there an absolute divide between non duality and duality? Both are aspects of the One.
The teacher that claims no enlightenment, no person, and yet teaches, is somehow acknowledging duality. To dismiss the embodiment, the seeker, is like the elephant in the living room that is not acknowledged. The teacher may claim to be enlightened or not. Does that change the fact that there is resonance?
One teacher claims to be enlightened, acknowledges it, and then teaches that there is no student, no teacher, and no free will. Gets confusing, doesn't it?
Teachers emphasize different sides of the same coin. They are all pointing, and pointing is not the truth. The one coin contains all sides. Acknowledging both the ultimate Oneness, and embodiment, seems balanced to me.
I trust my heart and only listen to and ponder those teachers who resonate with my heart. I resonate with teachers who fall on both sides of the coin. Neither side has the right pointer, all are pointing only.
As a seeker, I never cared whether a teacher claimed there is no one to be enlightened or not. I never cared if the teacher said there was no teacher, no student, no me. I only cared if there was resonance. I only cared if there was a response in my heart. I didn't care if I understood. I only cared if my heart relaxed and went, "Ahhhh."Maury Lee 6/14/2008
Grabbing The Fruit
If we didn't hold on to our beliefs, our positions, our opinions, would there be a me? If one could set aside these conditions on perception, where would the I be? If one held all opinions at arms length, and all concepts only tentatively, wouldn't the self disappear?
As a child growing up in a religious household, holding one set of beliefs as sacred, and others sacrilegious, certain observations became apparent. Every so often, Time Magazine would have an article on religion in which a certain church would pronounce that such and such a doctrine had been revised, and the new doctrine was now X instead of Y.
As this went on over the years, it was observed that the established religions tended to follow society's changes, changing doctrine to accommodate where society had moved. Even to a child's mind, this began to undermine any belief in ecclesiastical authority.
And then, to observe this in one's own mind, was a shock. Not a gratifying insight, as this mind was just as guilty of pandering as the church. Seeing this was insightful, and painful, but the pandering continued. Despite the shortcomings, this one was, after all, a truth seeker. When he had the courage, he was brutally honest with himself.
The mind was rigid, but something here wanted truth. For there to be any possibility of truth, the mind had to open up, to stretch, so to speak. And yet the mind didn't want to decompose in an instant. The mind loved itself. It craved security.
So, a deal of sorts was struck. OK, there's this search for truth, and so we must stretch, but we're not going to reach too far, too fast. That was the deal. Accommodate the mind, but push it to a certain extent. Stretching and holding on became a way of suffering. Every seeker's story.
What was observed was that the body-mind would find itself in a book store, looking for a book that was close enough to the mind's current position to be read, but just enough further out, to cause a stretch. Of course this begs the question: Who was observing the mind doing this? Who saw the mind holding back? Who saw the mind stretching?
It occurred to the mind, that this process surely showed that in time, all positions currently held, would eventually be abandoned, and new ones put in place. Having observed this, the mental struggle could have been entirely abandoned. All concepts thrown out. The term "Opt Out," would describe the fastest route to freedom. But this wasn't chosen.
Alas, as minds are, just opting out seemed insane. Having nothing to stand on mentally was just too scary a prospect. So, the journey continued. Here, one should be reminded that there was an observer, and the mind was aware of the observer. But the mind just couldn't get a grasp on that one.
Reading J. Krishnamurti was certainly a mind blower, and a great stretch for this little mind. J.K. was always saying that "The observer is the observed." The mind loved the phrase, and knew it was important, but just couldn't get it.
There is sudden enlightenment, but it wasn't going to be that way for this tip toeing seeker. No, he had to drag it out for 40 years. Finally, after taking the mind apart, piece by piece, there was barely a limb to stand on.
Like the parable of the monk hanging on a limb over a precipice, destined to fall, this one had to make a choice. "Do I hang on for another few minutes, or do I reach out, grab the fruit, and a have a bite on the way down? I died, but I tasted the fruit.
maury lee 4/18/2008
Awareness is Prior to Conscious
The experience perceived in this body-mind is different. Awareness is what I am. Awareness uses the mind to perceive form. Without the foundation of Awareness, the mind would be dead.
When objects enter Awareness as perception, interpreted by the mind, then things become conscious. The mind may or may not think about them, may or may not take action.
You say, "Watching Awareness pour in...." Again it is the reverse here. Awareness allows consciousness to pour in. I am blank until form arises from sensations, perceptions, thoughts, etc.
Awareness is prior to everything embodied. All body-minds are in Awareness, and all consequent thought comes after.
That field is what we are. Awareness does appear to become aware of itself via a body-mind. But the body mind does not grasp Awareness, rather Awareness sees itself as the basis for the body-mind. And then Awareness knows that any consciousness of any form whatsoever in the universe rests on it being there first. So Awareness becomes conscious of itself. This is realization.maury lee 4/11/2008
What Happens to Desire
Over the years I've read a lot of texts about getting rid of desires as a path to enlightenment. Heaven forbid! That's putting the cart before the horse. Results of an event don't indicate the path. If a forest fire results in no trees left standing, you don't go cut down all the trees in a neighboring forest to start a fire.
There is absolutely no need to get rid of desires as a path to realization. Once pure Awareness is recognized as one's own very Self, desires just begin to fall away on their own. There is no effort involved. In fact, trying to get rid of desires will only strengthen the ego and keep you on the treadmill longer.
Stick to the very basic pointers of the great sages: Socrates said, "Know thyself." Ramana Maharshi said, "Look for the source of the I." Nisargadatta said, "Stay with I am. Not this or that, just the sense of I am."
If you are even on the path to enlightenment, you will notice certain activities diminish. You will simply find certain activities just don't have the same appeal. Especially activities that take you away from the drive for internal time. Time alone for introspection just becomes more attractive.
This one learned a long time ago that one doesn't have to work at changing. What one needed was to increase awareness. That is all. The only sin any of us maintain is ignorance. Awareness is a light that when it shines in our dark spots, the shadows can be seen. More light and the shadows disappear.
When one realizes that one is Awareness itself, the resulting changes may be effortless. Effort may come in later when one has to make adjustments due to the effortless changes. More like cleanup duty.
Once Awareness is experienced as the self, there may be some tremendous effects, but there will be no you working on this -- no you thinking there are desires to be disengaged from.
Desires don't actually go away, they just lose their energy. When you are that which you have always been, and that which you will always be, what more could you need, or possibly get? It's the end of the road as far as gaining anything.
You go to do something that you used to do, and you realize the drive is just no longer there to pursue it. All that's left is what is needful, food, water, shelter. Fancy houses, fast cars, etc, are just nice if you have them, but not necessities.
So, what do you do now? All you can do is sit back and wait to see what happens. You may find that your energy just seems to remain internal. It doesn't project like it used to. Without the coloring of ego, there's a lot less to defend and less to uphold.
Once realization hits, it's like you sit back and watch as everything falls away. What you need isn't out there! You already are what you need.You wake up each day and count what has fallen away. This is how simplicity takes over and complexity diminishes. It's effortless, but it is noticed.
As the energy internalizes and goes out less and less, the world takes on more and more the feel of a dreamscape. It still needs to be dealt with, but the simplicity of that which is essential, is so visible, so clear, that all the rest is just a parade that one can't get involved with. You don't try and stay out of it, there's simply no energy to get involved with it, period.
What can you gain when you are already all that is? Nothing. You just remain as Being. You are the parade. You just play your part without effort, without resistance. You know you are not an individual doer. You are the doing of everything.
maury lee 4/24/08
Who Am I
When there is recall, there are memories of being a child, and there are memories of joys and fears. When there is recall there are memories of teenage and college years. But, whose memories are they? They are certainly not mine!
Whoever I am now, which is more like no one, nowhere, I am not that child, not that college kid, not any of those memories. The memories are there, this body/mind can recall them, but there is no one here to own them.
Long ago I wrote an autobiography. It seemed really improtant at the time. The problem is that I waited too long to publish it. Now, the person that wrote it is no longer here. Now there is no motive to publish it. Who is it important to now? No one! Whoever wrote it has long since died.
The body/mind remains. It is here at this computer typing these words. And though memories attest to experience, they don't attest to what remains: nothing definable as the person who experienced them.
From here, this body/mind has enough distance from itself to ask, who is here now typing this? Rather than answer directly, a little trip into the future will certainly reveal that whoever thinks they are writing this now, will not be here in the future. So, is there really anyone writing this?
Bodies are born and mindfields form around them. If they are unchallenged, they stabilize and a person is born. But the person that is born is just thoughts, opinions, ideas, nothing one can put in a box and keep.
Suffering is good at dispelling long held cherished beliefs. Suffering breaks up cherished positions, thoughts and ideas. The suffering is equal to the strength of the chains of thought. So much suffering to keep from seeing, to keep from changing.
There is a cool wind blowing where the web of thoughts used to be. With no web, no chains, what can stick? Where am I? Not here, not there, perhaps only everywhere.
Maury Lee 7/6/2008
Are We Under Our Skin
Just like Minnie the cat who limited herself to the driveway, we limit ourselves as being within our skin.
We also limit ourselves to the concept of a mental "I" that is restless and struggles.
There is nothing wrong with a restless I, it's just not who we are. The restless I is just a thought pattern awareness observes.
I am, you are this field. Who sees the restless "I?" You do. If you see it, it's an object in your awareness.
You are that awareness.maury lee 4/11/2008
The Final Teacher
This appearance found it's final teacher on the Internet. His name was Charlie Hayes. His site is http://www.theeternalstate.org/. After watching his videos and appreciating the simplicity and directness of the pointing, it became clear that this appearance would be calling him. Why? Who knows? It just seemed apparent that this would happen. There was an inevitability about it. Synchronistically, I had a week of vacation coming up. On 3/26/2008, I called Charlie.
Charlie's conversation with me was very blunt, to the point, with no way out. He offered no hope. That's what the ego needs to hear to give up - "no hope."
Maury Lee
Surrender
While being an apparent person, the ego is still in play, and no matter how long one searches, realization will not take place until there is some form of surrender. The surrender is a loud cry, an acknowledgment, "I can't do this!"
This is why there has been a very long tradition of the need for a teacher, a guru. And if one pays attention to the great teachers, one can frequently hear them express gratitude to their teacher for their realization. Sometimes expressed as "By the grace of my guru."
Of course, the teacher, the guru, does not take any such compliments personally, for he is Aware of the Impersonal Self --Awareness Itself.
Surrender is thus the best explanation I can come up with as to why one phone call to Charlie Hayes, put me over the edge.
Was I ripe, yes. Was I ready to surrender, yes. It was the intention of surrender and the action that followed, the call, that did me in. And so the tradition of surrender continues.
Below are two statements made by American teachers regarding this subject. The tradition, obviously is not simply one for the Far East. It seems to be universal, and applicable here in the West as well.maury lee 4/25/2008
The Procedure Toward Awakening - by by Alfred Pulyan
The student realizes that "awakening" or "realization" will never come unless at least once the student has surrendered the "boss-concept" of ego or self, the idea that it is a Supreme Court in itself, self-sufficient, "Captain of My Soul" (as Henley boasts & poor Bertrand Russell squeaks after him) ---
Since the student is seeking to realize "that" to which he is subordinate, second-in-command, it is obvious he must lower his flag, admit his lower status, at some time.
The "Law of the Ladder - by Franklin Merrell-Wolff
The law of the ladder says that you can only learn from people one rung above you; you can only teach one rung below you. If you reach down too low, they pull you down by the hair of the head. They crucify you. And if you reach up too far, the guy on the second rung above looks like an idiot to you. You can't comprehend him.
Letters To My Teacher
Charlie Hayes
Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 11:29 AM
subject: Awareness
Well. All I can say is it' just simply obvious. 5 thousand books can be thrown out. Actually it's all pretty funny isn't it. Nothing I can do. What is, is.
Maury
3/27/2008
Charlie Hayes
Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 1:29 PM
subject Re: Awareness
No perspective. Isn't going anywhere. Doesn't care. On with the show!
Maury
3/28/2008
Charlie Hayes
Fri, Mar 28, 2008
Well, Mr. President is still here, thrashing around, mumbling that he never should have looked behind the curtain - no one was there. I just want to thank you for staying after my appearance in our conversation and NOT letting me escape the "obvious."
It is seen now that everything I knew, I only knew intellectually. There was clarity intellectually (worthless). As you know, it amounted to nothing, because I had made AWARENESS into an object. What needed to happen was for AWARENESS to become aware of itself as Primary, and everything that followed to be seen as appearance. What you did in our phone conversation, was force the appearance out of the front position, so that AWARENESS recognized itself as primary.
Since our conversation I went back to a John Wheeler book I had "Awakening to the Natural State," just to see what had been missed before. Actually, I had rejected Wheeler's book because I thought it was too simple. Now it's ALL just too simple. It's amazing how a simple understanding, clarifies volumes of words and concepts. It is almost ridiculous how much can be said trying to convey this simple understanding.
In watching your videos, I can see that what was was beneficial was the repetition. What is being pointed out is so obvious, and had been overlooked for so long, the obviousness was completely overlooked. What you did for this appearance was to turn off the light so this appearance couldn't chase it's tail any more. The difference between an intellectual understanding and AWARENESS noticing itself is incredible. Reminds one of the statement that "Heaven and Hell are an inch apart."
What was also helpful, was that somehow this appearance was able to let go of expectations. There were all these conditions, conscious and unconscious, about, well, if this happened, there would be new suns in the sky, mountains would be piles of diamonds, you name it. Actually, it was more like, Oh, this, always here, always has been, always will be. Oh. Nothing is different except nothing is happening to me.
When Mr. President dies, I will be there watching. No big deal.
So many "so called teachers" would have been sweet and nice and led me down the path of continued seeking. Thanks for not doing that.
Thanks again for being tough with this appearance. Only a fool who wanted to be done with this would have called you. Glad I did.
Maury Lee
What do you do with this? Nothing.
3/29/2008
Without knowing it, I've always only been nothing (no thing). This is really a surprise to see! And it's very strange because it doesn't really change anything. Everything I thought I was doing was being done by no one. All the struggle, all the grief, happened, and yet I am here to say it didn't happen to me.
I see from a billion perspectives, but none are mine. They appear in me. They disappear in me. A parade of passions. A book of thoughts. A charade of posses on main street, and back streets. All are equally mine, never owned, never denied. What a grand parade it is!
From the mountains to the valleys, I scream, I cry, I call, I answer. Yet all is peaceful, ever still. The view from here is always available. All this cacophony and yet nothing ever happens. A dream going nowhere. Ever full, ever vibrant, teaming, swarming, dancing. A dream seen by no one.
Once seen, nothing can be done about it. It is what is prior to any appearance. It is what is after all appearances. It depends on nothing. Doesn't need anything. Yet it is open to everything. How could every hair on your head not be counted by this? It couldn't appear without this!
There is knowing and there is no-ing. There's less ignorance in no-ing. There is knowing appearing in this. So isn't this allowing presence true knowledge? So isn't true knowledge allowing? The barker takes the stage and announces, “Now this.! Now this ! Now this!” And now the clown comes on the stage and announces, “Leave anytime you like. This show never ends.”
Maury Lee
Realization
3/30/2008
So, realization is here. Does this bring ecstasy or joy to this person. Not at this moment. But this is OK. Why, because that is what is, and what is, is OK. This body-mind is in what I am. What I am is all that is. So how could this be not OK? If I am allows sorrow, then sorrow is acceptable. If I am allows joy, then joy is acceptable. Either way is irrelevant. I have allowed it to be.
Everything that appears must be in me. If it were not in me, how could I perceive it? Just as the body is in me and perceived, so any other form, sensation, thought or feeling, is in me. If I allow it, how can it not be OK? If I perceive it, can it be other than OK? If I am all that is, how can anything that appears not be OK? In this there is freedom.
This perceiving that all that is, is in me, and mine, brings peace. If it is, I allowed it. In being this allowing there is greater tolerance in the person for everything that happens. This body will be here as long as it is allowed. It will have good its good sensations, as well as aches and pains. The mind will have its joys and sorrows. All is OK as I allowed it. If there is resistance in the body-mind -- this too is allowed. Too allow everything is freedom. It is peace.
Maury Lee
Awareness First, Realization After
It's impressive how well you listen to what is written I believe I may use some of these words differently. You say "Awareness seems to enter this mind..."
The experience perceived in this body-mind is different. Awareness is what I am. Awareness uses the mind to perceive form. Without the foundation of Awareness, the mind would be dead.
When objects enter Awareness as perception, interpreted by the mind, then things become conscious. The mind may or may not think about them, may or may not take action.
You say, "Watching Awareness pour in...." Again it is the reverse here. Awareness allows consciousness to pour in. I am blank until form arises from sensations, perceptions, thoughts, etc.
Awareness is prior to everything embodied. All body-minds are in Awareness, and all consequent thought comes after.
That field is what we are. Awareness does appear to become aware of itself via a body-mind. But the body mind does not grasp Awareness, rather Awareness sees itself as the basis for the body-mind. And then Awareness knows that any consciousness of any form whatsoever in the universe rests on it being there first. So Awareness becomes conscious of itself. This is realization.
Hard stuff to write about, isn't it?
On Why Having a Teacher Who Knows is Important
3/31/2008
Sometimes the last straw, the final hurdle, for the seeker is the need for permission. The seeker gave up the original source in childhood to cope and fit in - giving itself away to authority. There may be a very strong sense that seeing is close, but the one inch step to seeing is held in check. That is when a teacher who wants nothing from you, but only wants you to see, can be very beneficial. It is the force of the teacher's direct knowing, and convincing authority, that may allow the seeker to finally take the step he knows is needed. And after the step, the seeker realizes that he didn't take a step at all. He was waiting for himself on the other side.
Maury Lee
Ignorance Walking Around4/1/2008
Ignorance is walking around all over the place, appearing as this and that. Human appearance does on rare occasions step out of ignorance into awareness. There is no reason for this, but it does happen. This happening does not have a path, as there are no paths to nowhere.
Methods may be provided, but all are tentative -- pointers only. The method already is in that which is. Why a certain appearance suddenly becomes awareness is not known. What appears to be the how is only an afterthought. Intent, strong enough to destroy the seeker is needed. And where is that intent? In awareness. Pathless intent. How paradoxical is that!
It is a false premise for anyone to assume that they have wasted their time, unawake. Any appearance whether a seeker or finder, already is only this awareness. Awareness has no time to waste. There is no time in awareness. Only the apparent seeker can feel he has wasted, or lost time. Once awake as awareness where was any time to have been lost?
Maury Lee
Liberation When one says “I am liberated,” it doesn't mean that this body-mind is liberated. It means that as awareness I am free of body and mind. Body and mind appear in what I am.
Awareness Has NO Qualities
Qualities may arise in awareness but awareness itself has no qualities. Awareness is, everything after is a perceived quality – catness, dogness, humaness. Awareness is beyond the mind because it is prior to mind. It doesn't have an opinion about mind. It just is.
Any sage is aware of the duality of language. So if he is asked to speak on the subject, concepts that ascribe qualities must be used. Ideally those concepts point accurately to awareness. So one uses words such as, awareness is motionless, pointless, open. etc.. Any seeker is more likely to get beyond his mind trying to get at these qualities, than statements along the lines of how to be a better person. Understanding doesn't make a better person. Understanding is realizing there isn't a person to be better at anything. Even Jesus said, “Why call me good?”
The Seeker's Mind
Most seekers, want to find a state for themselves that is blissful, orgasmic, or at minimum, peaceful. These desirable states are projected onto the guru/teacher, apparently separate from themselves.
The problem with this is that there is no there. The guru / teacher is not separate. The seeker is never going to get what the guru has because the guru doesn't have it either. He's not there and you here.
Seekers want a state because it is something they understand. The appeal of a state is that it is somewhat permanent. The seeker desires a somewhat permanent state that is blissful, mystical, unitary, etc.. This is understandable, typical human behavior, but isn't what is being pointed to here.
The problem might be clarified if the seeker could see that what is being pointed to is not a state. Sometimes referred to as the "stateless state." What is, is prior to and beyond any state.
However long, a state has a beginning and an end. The stateless state is that within which any state, feeling, thought, object, universe appears. A state of mind, a state of bliss, a state of unity, is not that. The apparent seeker is a complex of multiple movable states, not any of which, or any new one, will satisfy.
When what is, is seen (noticed, awared, realized), the shock is -- that what one is, is not a person, not a thing, nothing that can be grasped or held. It certainly cannot become a state. It is prior to all states, contains all states, is prior to any seeker's mind. When this is seen, one is no longer a seeker, or a person! When seen It is obvious and unshakeable. It is a surprise!Maury Lee
Knives in their heads
While the sugar plums danced in the plazas and squares, a number of them showed up with knives in their heads. The police were summoned. The poor sugar plums with knives stuck in their heads explained that the knives were only apparently there.
"It's a symbolic problem" they explained. "The knives are not real, and we did not stab ourselves in the head. No one did this to us. We are not even real, we are only apparently here."
The police did not take kindly to the joking around. So the captain asked what the knives symbolized. "Apparently, we're seekers, that's what we're called. A pain in the head called seeking, but we didn't think it showed."
"Well" said the captain, whether you are here or only apparently so, you must cover your heads or wear hats. You see, the apparent majority of sugar plums don't have knives in their heads. We don't want you to scare them."
The captain told the knively ones to go see their Parsons and Waite. The investigation continued, with liberals and traditionalists having their say. The neos were contrary and the conservatives stubborn.
In the end it was never agreed, one way or the other. An agreement could never be reached. Apparently no one ever came to the meetings. Only apparently so. The knives were symbolic, not even real, and the wounds didn't bleed. The wounds were apparently psychological or spiritual, and could not be found.
Meanwhile the sugar plums dance in the plazas and squares, oblivious to those who had been banished because of the knives in their heads. The seekers bled silently, dreaming in their beds, holding their heads. There was no one to rescue, and no one to teach. No one to heal. And no one to seek.
Maury Lee 7/18/ 2008
A Bird Conversation
Truth is like the air under a bird's wing. It cannot be grasped, captured, contained in any way. It cannot be controlled. And yet it supports a bird's soaring flight.
The air is always there, under the wings, whenever opened. It doesn't go anywhere. Cannot be seen, yet it is always there. Wherever the bird is, there it is.
A bird soars from the ground to the broadening heights of sky, yet ask a bird about air, and he will say, "What's that?"
"It's what you fly on!"
"Oh, I don't know about that. I fly on my wings. See? I fly on these."
"But it's what's under you wings that lets you fly. Don't you see?"
"No, I don't see. There's nothing under my wings."
Awareness is like air. It's always there, always here, always everywhere. But who sees Awareness? We are like birds, living in Awareness, but only seeing our wings. We see the content, but not the context. Have you noticed?
I Am The Body Assumption
4/5/2008
A very common question that is often seen from a skeptical seeker is this one. "If we're all one, how come if I stick myself with a pin, my neighbor doesn't feel it."
The seeker asking this question is still stuck in the "I am the body" assumption. He believes that the Oneness is somehow a oneness of bodies, or bodyness. He has not yet discerned that the One that he is, is not physical, is not a thing.
All bodies and things appear in the One, but each is a singular focal point in the field of Awareness. Awareness is aware of each and every object in the field. Yet, any apparent body will feel it's own aches and pains, its own mental suffering. Why? Because each body unit has usurped awareness as its own. A fatal assumption! An nnocent mistake, but one that leads down every path to ignorance.
That which permits body units to apparently exist is aware of everything. It is the perceiving "No Thing" allowing everything. The One is aware when the seeker is poked, and when the neighbor is poked.
Once a seeker realizes that he is Awareness itself, and not the body, the question based on oneness of bodies subsides.
Maury Lee
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Maury Lee
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